Funeral Home Visit

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I’ll be posting the obituary and service information soon. But I did want to update everyone on our visit with the funeral home today. We met with the director and he was incredibly kind. He showed us around and we talked about what we could do. He recommended their parlor for the service and viewing. It’s beautiful and intimate, which I think will be perfect for Brielle. We talked about all of the details and he again, was kind and generous. I am very impressed. David, asked for me, because I could hardly get out a sentence with all of my crying, if we could see Brielle again. We hadn’t been notified when the body was moved from the hospital and it had really bothered me because I didn’t know where she was. He hesitated, but agreed and brought her to us. They had wrapped her in a beautiful pink silk and mink blanket. She hadn’t been embalmed yet and looked beautiful still. Her eyes looked better than they had since she was born and her skin looked perfect. It made David and I feel so much better knowing that she was okay and that they were taking such good care of her. We both are more than thankful for the kindness they are showing us and for the tender care they have given our sweet Brielle. I feel at ease knowing she is being taken care of so well. Even though she is gone we still worry about her and worry about her being by herself in a cold place without a friendly face, but they are very kind and are treating her very well. David and I can rest easier tonight knowing she is taken care of.

Psalm 82:3

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Two years ago this was my devotional for the day. In my status I added that this was what I wanted to do with my life and I wanted my friends and family to hold me accountable. Little did I know that two years later I would have just given birth to the most beautiful little girl ever. Even though no one wants a baby like Brielle, David and I wanted her. We want her more than anything. I know that David and I made a difference in Brielle’s life and she showed us how much she knew and appreciated it after she was born. I am so grateful for the time we’ve had with her. And for welcoming all of you into our lives. You have loved and prayed over our little girl. You all have blessed her more than you will ever know. Thank you for joining us through this and loving Brielle.

Our Last Night Together

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Tonight is most likely my last night with Brielle. I’ve not wanted to post anything or respond to much because I just want to soak up as much of my sweet girl as I can. Twelve hours from now I’ll be getting ready to leave Brielle here and she’ll be taken to the morgue. I can’t imagine leaving her and it tears me apart. She’s not supposed to be without her Mommy.

So tonight I’ve kissed her sweet cheeks and lips, and I’ve gone over all of our memories together. David and I have cried and laughed as we watched videos of her moving in my tummy or us having a party for her and singing happy birthday. We’ve gone over all of our pictures together and it’s brought us indescribable joy. As we were going through things, David said, “We learned so much from her.”

We did. We had some of the best times with her that we’ve had in our whole lives. We’re both torn up and in unimaginable pain and just the thought of leaving her tomorrow makes me want to curl up in a ball with her and never let go. And our hearts are completely broken. But at the same time they’re full. They’re full of happy memories and a beautiful journey that we wouldn’t trade for anything. David and I have been incredibly blessed by Brielle. She’s more than we could ever have hoped for or dreamed of.

Our Angel Brielle

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Brielle Marie was born at 2:13 yesterday and flew home to heaven at 3:35. To all who have been lifting Caitrin, David and sweet Brielle up we thank you. We will post more later, but we wanted you to know that her life was blessed with love and the most incredible support from friends, family, her doula Lauren Bishop, Dr. Bootstaylor and the nurses and staff at Dekalb Medical Center. Our hearts are heavy, but our gratitude for the care that Caitrin received today is indescribable. Please continue in prayer for Caitrin and David. – Tammy