Our Last Night Together

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Tonight is most likely my last night with Brielle. I’ve not wanted to post anything or respond to much because I just want to soak up as much of my sweet girl as I can. Twelve hours from now I’ll be getting ready to leave Brielle here and she’ll be taken to the morgue. I can’t imagine leaving her and it tears me apart. She’s not supposed to be without her Mommy.

So tonight I’ve kissed her sweet cheeks and lips, and I’ve gone over all of our memories together. David and I have cried and laughed as we watched videos of her moving in my tummy or us having a party for her and singing happy birthday. We’ve gone over all of our pictures together and it’s brought us indescribable joy. As we were going through things, David said, “We learned so much from her.”

We did. We had some of the best times with her that we’ve had in our whole lives. We’re both torn up and in unimaginable pain and just the thought of leaving her tomorrow makes me want to curl up in a ball with her and never let go. And our hearts are completely broken. But at the same time they’re full. They’re full of happy memories and a beautiful journey that we wouldn’t trade for anything. David and I have been incredibly blessed by Brielle. She’s more than we could ever have hoped for or dreamed of.

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