Our History with March 29

David

Eight years ago today, I told David I loved him. It was 2:59 AM EST. David and I had been friends for a couple of years, we’d met on a video game (City of Heroes) and had a mutual need for each other. He needed someone who could heal him (me) and I needed someone who could take out bad guys fast (David). Over time we got to know each other and then one day it clicked. It just felt right and strangely it felt like the right time. We prayed about it and we had an overwhelming sense of peace about the relationship.

I foolishly thought our relationship would be an easy one. I was very wrong. Within a short amount of time my parents made it known that they despised David. And for the following five years they did everything in their power to tear us apart. It was horrible, stressful, a nightmare. They’d tear into David and then he’d tell me that it was okay, “Forgive them. I know what it’s like to lose a parent. Keep trying to make it work with them.” And so, we’d keep trying to make my parents see what a great guy David is and that he truly does care for me. And I’d forgive them.

With an already fragile gastrointestinal system, the stress from trying to please them made my health plummet. The pain was so harsh I could hardly walk and food would stay trapped inside my system for weeks. I was literally rotting from the inside out. And after spending six years trying to get a diagnosis for why my health just kept getting worse, I received one (more on that here and here). David stood by me through it all. He went with me to all of my appointments, helped me try new therapies, anything I needed, David was there. By this time, I had been living in Athens, GA for about eight months. And while I was suffering physically and in many ways emotionally, I was still incredibly happy with David.

He selflessly took care of me, loved me, encouraged me and never once complained. When I needed him, he was there. And he always had a smile on his face and an encouraging word. It was through this, that I learned what unconditional love is. I had never been shown such kindness and love before this time.

I eventually had to make a choice, school or my health. I wanted to live, so I chose my health. My parents were not happy with this decision and cut me off. David, once again, stood by me and paid for all of my expenses. He paid for my living expenses, my medical expenses, and anything I wanted or needed. He never once made me feel indebted to him and he once again did it all because he loved me. No strings attached. He amazes me.

Love
After spending a year and a half without my parents and under David’s care and love. My health improved. I was slowly, but steadily getting better. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be right, but at least I was better. David and I took a spur of the moment trip to Paris and it invigorated me. And on April 29, our last day in Paris, David proposed. It was perfect and I was so very happy.

My parents and I reconciled some months after the proposal. We had a common goal, Papa was getting worse, and I wanted him to be there for my wedding. Within three months we had chosen Eureka Springs, AR (a short distance from Papa) for the wedding location. And magically, Thorncrown Chapel had an opening on March 29, 2014. David and I rented a historic mansion for the groomsmen, my parents booked a historic Victorian home for the bridesmaids and we had a beautiful destination wedding. The weekend was full of love and good times with our family and closest friends. It was perfect. And most importantly, Papa got to see it. It had been a long time since I’d seen him smile so much.

David and I had a small reprieve from sadness and then as you all know, last June we were given the news that Brielle wouldn’t survive. Our relationship has seen some very trying times. It has made us stronger, patient, loving, forgiving, and thankful. I don’t know where my life would be right now if I didn’t know David. He has loved me through it all. He has never judged me. He has never been critical. Everything he has done for me has been out of pure unconditional love. He is such a rarity and there are times when I can’t believe that he is my husband.

Married
He asks me all the time, “Why me? Why are you still with me?” And I look at him like he’s lost his mind. I love him. I chose him, because he is the good guy. He’s the best. He’s selfless, gentle, kind, considerate, strong, sensitive, passionate, loving, an amazing father. I could go on and on. And what I really should be asking is, “Why me? Why has he stayed with me? Through everything I’ve put him through, why me?”

If you ever wonder why I have faith, this is why. This is one of many reasons why. I have no doubt that God brought David into my life. And I am eternally grateful. David has blessed me and loved me more than I deserve. I often say to him, “Best husband!” Because he really is, he’s better than I could have hoped for. Happy anniversary David.

Happy Birthday, David.

I wish I had the words to explain how wonderful David is and how grateful I am that he’s in my life. Today is his birthday and it is a very bittersweet day. I know he misses Brielle just as much as I do. And that is one of the many reasons I love him so much. He loves his little girl more than anything and is an amazing father. Brielle is a very lucky girl, and if I could, I’d bring her back to you for your birthday. Brielle and I love you David. Happy birthday!

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A Love Letter to David

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I can no longer clip my toenails. So a couple of weeks ago, late at night, David clipped my toenails. As he was doing this, he stopped and said, “Thank you for carrying Brielle. Thank you for doing all of the hard work.” I didn’t really know what to say. He was thanking me as he clipped my toenails. He comes home from work and says, “You’re the best wife and best mommy.” He then leans down and rubs on Brielle, gives her a kiss and says, “Hello baby Brielle! How’s my beautiful girl today? Daddy missed you!” Brielle generally starts moving excitedly when she hears him talking to her and rubbing on her.

David will then begin to clean up the kitchen, prepare dinner, and as I apologize and begin to help him, he tells me to go sit down. He asks me what I’ve found today. And as he takes care of the house and me, I tell him about what new discovery I’ve made today for anencephaly research. He remains attentive even when I can see his eyes glaze over, mostly because not everyone shares the same enthusiasm as I do for cerebral hemorrhaging. We chat over dinner about his day and then he gets up and cleans up dinner. He does this all after having extremely stressful days at work.

Most days, I sit and think, “I do not deserve him.” I’m so thankful for him. He stays strong for me when I can’t physically keep up or emotionally when I’m deep in my own grief. He’s not angry with me for not keeping up with the house, having dinner planned, or waking him up at one in the morning so that he can read to Brielle. He understands and helps me shoulder the burden.

I think what is even more wonderful about him, is that he knows it’s okay to be vulnerable with me too. I don’t need a husband who keeps his hurt and pain from me. I need a husband that I can grieve with. And in those moments I stay strong and let him hold onto Brielle and deal with his own anguish. A few days after we were given Brielle’s diagnosis, I told David, “I need you to be here with me. I need you to hurt with me. I don’t want you to hide it. That wont fix it, it wont make me feel better. It will just make me feel more alone, isolated, like I’m the only one in this.”

And so, as hard as it is for him, he lets himself grieve with me. I think more of him for being honest with me, being honest with himself and how he feels. On the days he can’t keep up, I let him lean on me, and on the days I can’t keep up, he let’s me lean on him.

I love David more now than I ever have. We could have let this tear us apart, let it drive a wedge between us, but instead we’ve chosen to let it bring us closer together. We’ve chosen to use this pain for good. Some days he comes home and we sit and cry through dinner together. Some days he comes home and we laugh and joke about the funny things of the day. He’s with me through it all. He’s there for every good moment and every bad moment. I couldn’t have asked for a better husband or partner through this journey. And Brielle could not have been given a better daddy.