Brielle’s Spirituality

September 11, 2015January 15, 2016 ~ lovingbrielle ~ 1 Comment

I watched this earlier and as I was watching it I felt Brielle start to move. The longer I watched the more she moved. And once the clip ended? She stopped moving. Brielle does things like this all the time, things that make me wonder just how much she understands. For instance, every time we pray she starts moving. When we’re at church she dances during the music. No matter what kind of music it is. We can be in a church that is all acapella and incredibly quiet. We can be in a church filled with thousands which a choir and orchestra, people singing out loudly and boldly for the Lord, and she dances.

During a sermon a few weeks ago, the preacher stated, “Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through him.” She jumped. She jumped so suddenly she knocked the breath right out of me. I don’t have an explanation for these things. And quite frankly, I don’t need one and I don’t think there ever will be one. But these things make me wonder. I wonder if she has her own faith, her own opinions and feelings about God. And it makes me ponder on this quote: “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” While I’ve always thought this to be true, I never once thought of it through the eyes of a baby. Through the eyes of my daughter. And I really don’t think there is anything quite as beautiful as pure innocence celebrating God.

More Prayer Requests

September 8, 2015January 26, 2016 ~ lovingbrielle ~ Leave a comment

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Okay, more prayer requests. I have another doctors appointment this afternoon. The last one went well and he was receptive to the information I gave him. This time, I have even more. I’ll be sharing my preliminary thoughts on procedures that should be put in place. And also sharing with him all of the potential causes of death for anencephaly. I’ll be talking to him about ways to avoid these problems and how to save Brielle. Again, this isn’t done. Actively trying to save a child with anencephaly is not done or encouraged. So prayers for this would be greatly appreciated. Also, please pray that God can open my eyes to more information and give me more understanding so that I can figure out how to save these babies.

Prayer Requests

September 6, 2015January 26, 2016 ~ lovingbrielle ~ Leave a comment

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I have a very specific prayer request. We are going to push for MRI’s and imaging to check on the health of Brielle’s brain. Please pray that not only will we be connected to the right doctors for this, but also that insurance will approve it. It is not normal to have these babies treated, so our insurance may tell us no. Please pray that they say yes. We so badly want to give Brielle her best chance.

Death is Nothing at All

August 26, 2015January 26, 2016 ~ lovingbrielle ~ Leave a comment

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Each day I am a bit more anxious than the day before. And tonight, after I’ve tucked Brielle in for the night, with a bedtime story and a lullaby. I find myself wondering how many more nights I’ll be able to read to her and hold her tight. Then I stumble upon this poem, which I’ve always found both heartbreaking and comforting.

“Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

Nothing is past; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before only better, infinitely happier and forever we will all be one together with Christ.”

by Henry Scott Holland

Brielle’s First Quilt

August 24, 2015January 15, 2016 ~ lovingbrielle ~ Leave a comment

I received a package a few days ago from my parents and inside was this beautiful quilt that Mary H. made for Brielle. I had no idea it was coming or that she had made it. It’s beautiful and I love it so much! After I received this, I told Mary that I had a special quilt made for me when I was a baby and I’d always wanted that for Brielle too. So this gift is very meaningful to me and it will be something I treasure for the rest of my life. I love the fabric and how happy the quilt is! I keep it in our bedroom with Brielle’s elephant heartbeat bear and every night I listen to Brielle’s heartbeat and hold this blanket and her elephant. I think Brielle knows that time is for her, she always does happy kicks when she hears her heartbeat.

The quilt says: Daddy Loves Brielle, Jesus Loves Brielle, Mommy Loves Brielle.