I feel like a whole new person. Like I’m me again. I’ve let what’s happened in my life totally derail me. I let doubt get in my head and destroy my confidence, my belief in myself. And I did that. I let that happen.
I needed to stand up for myself, I needed to be clear that life has thrown me a curve ball, but I’m going to move forward. I needed to have the confidence to say, “Nobody is perfect. I’m not perfect. And I’ve been down.”
I needed to know that I have the freedom to speak. The freedom to make mistakes. The freedom to hurt and not cover it up with a smile. I needed the freedom to grieve, but find true happiness in my grief.
And I am really happy. I’m free. I’ve spent my whole life trying to get away, to live without fear, and I did it.
And I feel…right. Like I’m back on the path I’m supposed to be on. Life threw me into a viscous cycle of doubt and heartache. I always want to know that I’ve given everything my all. I don’t want to live with regret. But my fear and doubt was eating me alive. Leaving me to question myself.
But I don’t doubt myself anymore. I still struggle with heartache, but I can be confident in God. And I’m free. I don’t have to silence myself anymore. I don’t have to hide. To live in fear.
I’m free to be myself. I’m free to be the person I’ve been trying to be. Life feels good again. I’m hopeful again. And I’m comfortable.
The Lord is good. He has heard me and He is guiding me out of my pain and suffering. And this makes me glad. This makes me joyous. Praise the Lord! I am free!
I don’t feel weak anymore. I don’t feel lonely anymore. I don’t feel helpless anymore. I am strong and the Lord is on my side. He sees my heartache, he sees the injustice I’ve been shown, and He knows my heart.
My God is great and powerful. He is always faithful and has never left my side. I know His presence and I know His favor. God has blessed us and He will continue to do so.
Storms will come, tragedy will strike, but my Lord is always faithful. He is always good. He is always just. And He will always stand by my side.
In Him I have no fear. In Him I am confident. In Him I am strong. Life may try and derail me, friends may betray me, and I may suffer, but my heart belongs to God. I will serve Him for eternity and do so with a glad and joyous heart. Nothing and no one can come between the love I have for my Lord or the love He has for me.
2 Samuel 22: 2-7, 18-37, 47-50
The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
and my place of safety.
He is my refuge, my savior,
the one who saves me from violence. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise,
and he saved me from my enemies.
The waves of death overwhelmed me;
floods of destruction swept over me. The grave wrapped its ropes around me;
death laid a trap in my path.
But in my distress I cried out to the Lord;
yes, I cried to my God for help.
He heard me from his sanctuary;
my cry reached his ears.
He reached down from heaven and rescued me;
he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemies,
from those who hated me and were too strong for me. They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress,
but the Lord supported me. He led me to a place of safety;
he rescued me because he delights in me. The Lord rewarded me for doing right;
he restored me because of my innocence. For I have kept the ways of the Lord;
I have not turned from my God to follow evil. I have followed all his regulations;
I have never abandoned his decrees. I am blameless before God;
I have kept myself from sin. The Lord rewarded me for doing right.
He has seen my innocence.
To the faithful you show yourself faithful;
to those with integrity you show integrity. To the pure you show yourself pure,
but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd. You rescue the humble,
but your eyes watch the proud and humiliate them. O Lord, you are my lamp.
The Lord lights up my darkness. In your strength I can crush an army;
with my God I can scale any wall.
God’s way is perfect.
All the Lord’s promises prove true.
He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.
For who is God except the Lord?
Who but our God is a solid rock?
God is my strong fortress,
and he makes my way perfect. He makes me as surefooted as a deer,
enabling me to stand on mountain heights. He trains my hands for battle;
he strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow. You have given me your shield of victory;
your help has made me great.
You have made a wide path for my feet
to keep them from slipping.
The Lord lives! Praise to my Rock!
May God, the Rock of my salvation, be exalted! He is the God who pays back those who harm me;
he brings down the nations under me
and delivers me from my enemies.
You hold me safe beyond the reach of my enemies;
you save me from violent opponents. For this, O Lord, I will praise you among the nations;
I will sing praises to your name.