The Pinterest Trap

July 27, 2016July 26, 2016 ~ lovingbrielle ~ 1 Comment

I’m easily dissatisfied with my things. I look at my Ikea office chairs and only see what’s wrong with them and what I’d rather have. The gash in my breakfast table annoying me, a gash I could fix, but I don’t. Instead of enjoying my living room arm chairs, I’m frustrated with it’s square arms, because I’d rather have a balloon chair.

Sabine-Balloon-Chair-MCR4900 — *sigh* a dreamy balloon chair…

I scroll through Pinterest and Instagram bombarded with perfect pictures. The lighting is just right, the artwork is impeccable, houses polished and designed to perfection. And I feel sub par, shamed by my hand me down white nightstands covered in black dog hair. Frustrated with my flickering Good Will lamp.

Hunter_Living+6 — I am in love with Studio McGee’s design style.

SMH. If only I had an unlimited budget or a large chunk of cash. That would make me happy, right? If only I could design to my heart’s content. If only I could have everything I ever wanted, that would be enough, right?

I know better. Time and time again I’ve given myself exactly what I want, and yes, it makes me happy. I’m pleased with my purchase. Pleased with my shiny new item. But it’s newness fades. And there is always something better around the corner.
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At the end of the day, I realize, I’ve yet to master gratitude. I’m displeased with my things, because I don’t appreciate what I have. I don’t see their value anymore. And I am keenly aware of how this behavior evolves. So I check myself. I wrestle with myself.

Because what happens when the newness wears off of things that matter? What happens when I view others as items and objectify them? When I get frustrated and shamed by my lack luster things, I lose focus on the things that really matter. I spend more time focused on beautiful things, shiny, new things, rather than my family.

Emmy Lou sitting like a big girl and getting snuggles.

And when I step back and watch my dog babies smile for hours because I took them on a walk, I find joy. When I listen to David’s day and find joy in his joy, I find contentment. When I observe the raw beauty of my surroundings, the changing seasons, the mountainous terrain to the north, and the vibrant city to the south, I find peace. My heart is full. My heart is at peace.

Emmy and Rosie’s new neighborhood friend, Rocko.

I come home and my square arm chairs don’t bother me as much. I look at my things and I’m reminded how blessed I really am. I watch my family interact with each other. Rosie giving Emmy sweet kisses, David lighting up with happiness and laughter, while he snuggles all three of our girls (Emmy, Rosie, and Brielle Bear) and I step back and look at how rich in love I am, and I think to myself, “This is enough. This is joy. This is what matters.”

Photo Jul 25, 7 35 07 PM — Rosie helping us catch Pokemon.

Five Years With Rosie

May 3, 2016 ~ lovingbrielle ~ Leave a comment

Today is the fifth anniversary of the day we brought Rosie home from the pound.

I had been looking for a new sister or brother for Emmy. Emmy was bored and was letting me hear about it. She’d walk around the house, give me this, “Mom.” look, and then do her frustrated sighs. I guess I wasn’t interesting enough.

I knew I wanted a large dog, but I was waiting for the right one. I decided to start checking the at risk dog listings. One day, while scrolling through Facebook, I found sweet little Rosie.

A rottweiler, no one really wanted Rosie, and she was sad and lonely. The description stated that she was very sweet, but very shy.

My roommate and I decided to visit Rosie and see if she’d be a good fit with Emmy. When we met Rosie at her cage, she went crazy and started snapping and barking. I put my hand against the chain link fence and she calmed down. She was just scared and didn’t know what was going on. A stray, she weighed just 35 pounds and was incredibly afraid.

We took her into a play area and she and Emmy got along great. Rosie was playful and happy. I decided to adopt her, four hours before she was scheduled to be put down. I thought that even if she didn’t work out in our family, at least I’d be saving her from death. Of course, the moment we brought her home it was clear she belonged with us.

Starved for attention, Rosie would follow us around and snuggle at every opportunity. She was, and is, incredibly loving and kind. Her and Emmy figured out their relationship and now really are just like sisters.

It’s so hard to believe that five years ago we were meeting our little Rose for the first time. I couldn’t imagine our lives without her silliness.

Rosie has been the perfect addition to our family and has brought us so much joy and love. She’s a solid 70 pounds now and a complete Daddy’s Girl. She’ll lay on his chest, look into his eyes, and smile. A big cheeky grin with very stinky breath. We love her so much, especially Emmy. Adopting Rose was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

My Birthday Celebration

October 19, 2015January 15, 2016 ~ lovingbrielle ~ Leave a comment

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My 25th birthday started out a bit rough, as mentioned previously. By the time David came home I was in much better spirits, but I still wasn’t thrilled about the day, to say the least. We decided to open gifts first since our reservations weren’t until 8:30. My parents had sent a good size Amazon box and an outfit they had ordered a few weeks ago arrived as well. David loves to spoil me (be worried about our children) so he bought me a romance novel, a K-Drama that I love, flowers, a cake, and a gift card to the spa for after Brielle is born. He also got me a very sweet card. He loves me.

I opened my parent’s box and was so surprised. It was filled with things for Brielle! Happy patterns and cute newborn outfits. I was so excited by them. David said in a disappointed voice, “Your parents outdid me this year.” He was not happy about that lol. I spent quite a bit of time looking at each thing and putting the newborn outfits together. David was excited about them too, but kind of jealous that I wasn’t as excited about his gifts. Poor David. Seeing all of those things for Brielle made me so happy and cheered me up. It was so fun imagining her chubby, little legs kicking out of her onesie. So cute! David then said, “How do you put those things on and how do you change a diaper? Do you take the whole outfit off?” It hadn’t occurred to me that I needed to teach David how to do those things. We needed to have a crash course on babies.

We had a nice dinner out, which Brielle enjoyed as well. We have a bit of problem there, she enjoys expensive steak a bit too much. We’re not continuing that for her after she’s born. Mommy and Daddy are still having good steak though.

When we came home, David grabbed Brielle’s American Girl doll, Grace, and I set up a station on the coffee table to teach David how to change a diaper. That was interesting. Not because of David, but because the doll was not flexible – at all. We had a lot of fun though! David did such a good job, he’s worried he won’t do it right, I kept telling him that he will know. He’ll know what to do and he is already doing such a great job. He said he wanted to be a good daddy. I told him he was already a great daddy. Brielle loves him so much! He’s still worried, but hopefully not as much. To be fair, it is quite a bit to take in and learn when you’ve never been around newborns before.

Saturday we saw The Martian, which was good. We have read the book a couple of times and the book is hysterical, terrible language, but hilarious. The movie was not so funny. We still had fun and Brielle liked it too. After the movie we went to a Carter’s store and bought Brielle a bunch of outfits. That was so much fun! We both enjoyed that, David was amazed at how tiny everything was. I even had fun doing laundry that night. I washed all of Brielle’s little clothes and blankets. It made me so happy to fold a little stack just for her.

Overall I had a great birthday weekend. It started out really rough, but spending time with my sweet family was all I needed. I got to spoil my little girl, eat cake, spend time with David, and get dog snuggles from my sweet fur children. And we had an amazing Sunday. It was an emotional birthday, but a great one.

887348_940871352640992_6837738366118753726_o — Look at Rosie and Emmy. Do you think they want cake?

12109902_940871342640993_8907921391288013321_o — My white cake with white buttercream cake.

11228932_940871345974326_4231660383660682930_o — Look at all the gifts Brielle and I got!

12132393_940871435974317_2050251973577839347_o — David trying his best to put clothes on the doll.

12095087_940871399307654_3976364441139726087_o — Still trying…

12109916_940871449307649_7803716643762127171_o — He did it!

Sweet Emmy

August 26, 2015January 15, 2016 ~ lovingbrielle ~ Leave a comment

11930861_916395835088544_1029830830565346804_o — Sweet Emmy and little Rosie creeping from behind her.

I’ve been having a lot of trouble getting up the stairs. I can only take about three at a time before I’m out of breath and my chest burns like I ran a marathon. This has made Emmy very worried. She stands at the top of the stairs and her big brown eyes look at me with worried confusion. I keep telling her, “Mommy’s okay, I just need to rest. I’m okay.” She doesn’t believe me.

So tonight, as I’m thoroughly winded, resting on the landing, she starts to smile and then runs down to the landing. She then looks at me with another big smile and runs back up the stairs, as if to say, “Look Mom, this is how you go up the stairs. I’ll show you how, you can do it!” She’s so sweet. Once I did make it up the stairs, she made sure to stay very close. She is such a good girl.