A Mother’s Love

When we first received Brielle’s diagnosis and I began to look at images of anencephalic babies, I was scared. Babies with anencephaly are portrayed as monsters or frog like. They are displayed in graphic clinical settings. A google search of an anencephalic baby will leave you disgusted and horrified. And I was scared that maybe I wouldn’t love Brielle or I’d think she was ugly. Will anyone love my baby? The whole situation was terrifying and I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
 
I am a part of an anencephaly support group, I have been since Brielle was diagnosed. And fellow mothers share images of their sweet anen babies. In some of the pictures, the baby has passed and is lovingly cuddled or swaddled in special things just for that baby. Some pictures the baby is smiling, giggling, blowing bubbles, they’re happy, loved. It’s beautiful.
 
I find myself completely heartbroken and in love with everyone of these babies. They’re so perfect and these babies are so loved. Each one, has a story like Brielle’s, a story of love and hope, and trust in God. Each is special. They each had their own personalities, likes and dislikes. A lot of them were active and silly. Each one deserved a future.
 
And so it’s heartbreaking, because I know the pain the parents feel. I know how it hurts to guide your child into death. And it’s heartbreaking, because each baby I see reminds me that another will come and another will die. Each baby I see reminds me of the horrors I saw in the medical community regarding anencephaly. Each baby reminds me of the ignorance of our society, how cruel people can be towards these sweet innocent babies. And it shouldn’t be that way.
 
I can’t imagine a more purely beautiful baby. I need to make a difference for these babies, they deserve it. Brielle had a beautiful birth and loving support from See Baby and Dekalb Medical. The care and love we received is incredibly rare and it should be standard. These babies deserve to be valued and respected. They deserve to be loved by everyone, not just their parents.
 
I know now that I had nothing to worry about. I still can’t get over how perfect and beautiful Brielle was and is. I am so proud of her and I just want to show everyone how cute she was. Brielle, David, and I were blessed with incredible amounts of love and kindness. We’ve been (happily) overwhelmed and I am so grateful. I don’t know how yet, but I will find a way to share Brielle’s story and the love that you all shared with us. Brielle’s life is a story of hope and love, even in the darkest times, and it’s proof of how amazing anencephalic babies are and everyone needs to know how special they are.
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