One of the memories that David and I continually come back to is the memory of Brielle jumping at the sound of Jesus’s name. She consistently expressed joy when in worship and praise for Jesus. It was incredible and really made David and I think more about what a baby understands and feels.
“At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariah’s home and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” Luke 1:39-45
“I watched this earlier and as I was watching it I felt Brielle start to move. The longer I watched the more she moved. And once the clip ended? She stopped moving. Brielle does things like this all the time, things that make me wonder just how much she understands. For instance, every time we pray she starts moving. When we’re at church she dances during the music. No matter what kind of music it is. We can be in a church that is all acapella and incredibly quiet. We can be in a church filled with thousands with a choir and orchestra, people singing out loudly and boldly for the Lord, and she dances.
During a sermon a few weeks ago, the preacher stated, “Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through him.” She jumped. She jumped so suddenly she knocked the breath right out of me. I don’t have an explanation for these things. And quite frankly, I don’t need one and I don’t think there ever will be one. But these things make me wonder. I wonder if she has her own faith, her own opinions and feelings about God. And it makes me ponder on this quote: “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” While I’ve always thought this to be true, I never once thought of it through the eyes of a baby. Through the eyes of my daughter. And I really don’t think there is anything quite as beautiful as pure innocence celebrating God.”
If you remember Brielle’s 30th week, you know that David picked her up Gigi’s cupcakes and that she loved the bubblegum cupcake and that I hated it and choked down as much as I could handle. Her second favorite was the strawberry shortcake flavor.
We went back and forth on getting her a fancy tiered cake, but that kind of seemed over the top and stressful. Ultimately, we decided to go with a custom cake from Gigi’s in the strawberry shortcake flavor. I’m really excited about the cake and can’t wait to have some! I may have a cake addiction.
One of the things David and I enjoy about Brielle was how opinionated she was. We had no idea that she would react to books we read her, but once we started reading to her, wow, she really did! This was clearly evident in this memory:
“Yesterday, David went out and bought Brielle a bunch of new books. I told her all about them and she did lots of happy wiggles. She especially wiggled for a Winnie the Pooh book he’d bought her. So I read that one to her. She loved it! She wiggled her little butt the whole time. Then I read her a Dr. Seuss book David had bought her. Nothing, she did not like it. No moving, no excitement. Not even happy snuggles, where she’ll curl up on one of my sides. Nothing. She really hates Dr. Seuss. Who knew a baby could hate Dr. Seuss so much? David said that this cannot be. She has to like ’80s hair bands and Dr. Seuss. I told Brielle I’d protect her from both, especially the ’80s hair bands.”
She also, hated, Fox In Socks.
One night as David read to her Fox In Socks, she kicked the right side of my belly (where David was reading) hard and then ran away to the left side of my belly and burrowed as hard as she could to get away from the sound of his voice. When I told David to stop and try reading something else, she calmed down.
He picked up Beauty & The Beast and began reading, she waited a few moments and then moved back to the right side of my belly, and snuggled up closer to his voice. So cute. She knew what she liked!
In case you’ve been hiding under a rock, today we are celebrating Brielle’s beautiful life! David invited our closest family and friends. We weren’t entirely sure how well we’d do today and we really didn’t feel like blubbering in front of everyone. I’m hoping we’ll be too happy to blubber, we’ll see!
I’ll post more about her cake later today, but for the food we chose to have Papasito’s catered. Brielle loved the mariachi band when we went there for Mexico Independence Day and I thought it was a perfect way to bring that element into the party. Not to mention a lot easier than cooking.
We’ll be having her playlist on throughout the day and as we all know, she loved her music. Queue one of her favorites:
Before Brielle was born, I wanted to throw her a big party, but for various reasons it didn’t happen. This has bothered me ever since. The week before she was born should have been about her and it wasn’t. In many ways, this party is my chance to rectify that for her and myself. I would like to think she will be looking down and watching our celebration for her and that she’ll know how much I wanted to spoil her and treasure her.
I’ve ordered five three foot pink balloons. I’m pulling out the nice dinner ware. I’ve bought her a dress (I wanted something schmancy, but that’s pretty hard to find in 18″ doll size), and we’re surrounding ourselves with those who understand our quirky way of grieving.
I am so excited to share this day with them and with you all. One of the greatest gifts you all gave David and I was love for our daughter. In so many ways, y’alls love and encouragement helped make our time with her joyful.
David and I have laughed about this moment over and over again. Poor Brielle was so disturbed, she just didn’t understand what was going on. She was such a sweet baby. We had to coax her out and give her lots of love and encouragement. I light up when I remember this moment and how silly she was. She had so much personality!
“Earlier this week, David was playing with Brielle and she was so happy. Dancing and squirming. He then said, “I’m going to blow on Mommy’s tummy!” He then blew a raspberry on my tummy. The fun and games stopped right there. He did it right on her face and she immediately stopped moving. I’m dying laughing, Brielle is trying to run away, and David is saying, “I’m such a bad Daddy!” Poor baby had no idea what that horrifying sound was and David felt horrible that he had scared her. She didn’t move for an hour. Poor baby, I kept telling her it was ok, and David kept apologizing to her. Needless to say, we won’t be doing that again.”
This picture taken a few days before she got the razz. The zoo trip was also one of my favorite memories. I have too many favorite memories!!