The Princess and the Pea


For the past month Brielle hasn’t been super responsive. She’s still been active, but wasn’t responding like she used to. Since Sunday she’s been more like herself. She’s been craving certain foods again (like grapes, which mommy isn’t super crazy about) and responding to music and books again.

Today I felt well enough to go grocery shopping, which I haven’t been able to do in a while (I did it without pain and without swelling!). I bought Brielle a new book of fairy tales and when we got home I read her “The Princess and the Pea.” She liked that story! Silly girl did lots of wiggles when I read about the “fake” princesses, I guess she thought they were funny!


Brielle’s Utter Dislike for Dr. Seuss


Yesterday, David went out and bought Brielle a bunch of new books. I told her all about them and she did lots of happy wiggles. She especially wiggled for a Winnie the Pooh book he’d bought her. So I read that one to her. She loved it! She wiggled her little butt the whole time. Then I read her a Dr. Seuss book David had bought her. Nothing, she did not like it. No moving, no excitement. Not even happy snuggles, where she’ll curl up on one of my sides. Nothing. She really hates Dr. Seuss. Who knew a baby could hate Dr. Seuss so much? David said that this cannot be. She has to like ’80s hair bands and Dr. Seuss. I told Brielle I’d protect her from both, especially the ’80s hair bands.

It Will Be Okay


One of Brielle’s favorite books is “It Will be Okay” by Lysa TerKeurst. I bought this for Brielle not long after we were given her diagnosis. At the time I was still learning to talk to Brielle and be comfortable having conversations with my belly. It had not occurred to me yet that maybe David and I needed to prepare Brielle for what was coming. Her reaction to this book when we first read it to her was immediate. She was happy and it surprisingly brought comfort to David and I as we read it to her. At times, this was the only book she would respond to and so we would read it, over and over again.

Within a few weeks, I began telling Brielle what was going to happen when she was born and I continue to do this. I tell her how it will be scary. That it will be cold and she might be in pain. I tell her that she is very sick and that she will need to fight hard to stay with Mommy and Daddy, but that if it’s too hard that it is okay for her to go. But I always ask her to hold on just long enough to let me hold her. I want her to be with David or I as she passes. I’ll tell her about the doctors and nurses and how she may not be able to be with Mommy right away, but Daddy will be there, he will be close to her. I tell her to be brave and not to be afraid, that it will all be okay. And no matter what, Mommy and Daddy love her.

I feel like this sweet children’s book helps not only her, but also David and I. The book follows a little seed, who lives in a cozy packet in a cozy shed, and who makes a sweet friend called Little Fox. But then the Farmer (God) takes him out of his cozy packet and puts him deep in the ground. Little Fox and Little Seed are scared and afraid of what will happen. There are two parts that I always love and that even now Brielle just perked up for as I read aloud again.

“Little Fox thought hard for something to say or something to do that would help his friend not be scared. But he was afraid too. ‘It’s different and scary to be someplace new…but it will be okay, Little Seed.’ Little Seed was not so sure. And neither was Little Fox. But the Farmer was good, and the Farmer was kind, and the Farmer was always watching over them. Even when they didn’t know it.”

I often let Brielle know that I’m scared too. And that I don’t want to lose her and I’d do anything to keep her with me. I’ll hold my belly tight and tell her, “But it will be okay, you will be okay, Mommy is just going to miss you.” And I think that’s why I like the ending of this book so much. Brielle and I may be apart for a long time, but one day we’ll be back together again and we’ll have made it through the dark and scary time.

“Together they made it through the dark and scary time, and together they each learned that the Farmer was good, and the Farmer was kind, and the Farmer was always watching over them. Even in dark, messy places.”

Brielle is 31 Weeks!


Friday was the beginning of Brielle’s 31st week! We took her out for hibachi and she liked it! She liked the soup they served and she jumped during the big fire part of the show. We’ve been watching the Harry Potter series, so we continued with another movie after dinner. She’s not really into Harry Potter, she liked the first one, but the rest she doesn’t really enjoy. I think its because the first one had a lot of music.

Saturday our friends John and Courtney came down to visit for the weekend. We went to Bahama Breeze for dinner and I gave Brielle a pineapple drink. She really liked that! There was a lot of jumping and dancing. She did not like conch fritters or jerk chicken. Dad said she was like Papa, he didn’t like conch fritters either. We watched a crazy movie that night and we were all laughing hysterically. Brielle loved that, she loved hearing us laugh, and was so happy the whole night. She kept dancing and doing her happy wiggles. I actually had a hard time settling her down so that I could sleep. Silly girl!

Sunday morning she was a sleepy head, until she smelled bacon! Then she perked right up and kept kicking me like, “Why aren’t we eating yet?” She loved her breakfast. Strawberries, orange juice (she’s been craving that), bacon, and biscuits with winter white honey from Savannah Bee company. Oh she was so happy. Brielle had a good day. She took a nap for the rest of the day. Only waking up to enjoy food again. She is her father’s daughter.

I was exhausted Monday, so while I had planned on having a picnic, flying a kite, and playing mini golf with Brielle. It didn’t all happen. We went to a used book store and were very happy to see they had a huge children’s section. So we bought Brielle nine new books. After that, we went out to play mini golf that evening after dinner. Brielle curled up on my right side and slept the entire time. We had a great time, but it was exhausting. There were a lot of stairs and I seriously underestimated what I was able to still do. David helped me walk around though and get up and down the stairs. He also placed my ball every time for me and let me use his when I hit my ball into the water. He’s such a great husband.

We decided to test her vision Monday night, by shining a light on my tummy. She really did not like that and ran away from the light. She’d been sleeping so she was not a happy camper. We wont be doing that test again. But she can see! This is huge! It means she’s exhibiting all five senses, which is one of the things that doctors say anencephalic babies can’t do.

That night David read her Fox in Socks by Dr. Seuss. That didn’t go over well. She actually tried to hide from the book. First she kicked me really hard, and then she burrowed as deep into me as she could. And just kept on trying until I stopped David from reading. David was relieved as well, he didn’t like that book either! So he read her Beauty and the Beast. She really liked that book! She came back out of her hiding place and snuggled back up on my right side. She did a few happy kicks and she just felt happy.

Brielle was very happy and very active all weekend. I’m glad she had fun. She’s been very sleepy since Monday. I think we wore her out. It certainly wore Mommy out!

Daddy’s Girl


Yesterday evening, when the garage door opened, Brielle jumped with excitement. The moment David announced he was home, she started dancing. She loves her Daddy! And last night she was so happy as David read her a bedtime story. I wish he could feel how she moves when he talks to her and rubs on my belly. She’s just so happy and gets so excited.