Our Last Saturday with Brielle


Here is an update on Saturday. Jen (a friend of ours) found Munchkin’s owner, whose real name is Lucas, but we still call him Munchkin. That afternoon his owner came and picked him up. Both were very happy to be reunited! We were also very happy to have the house back to normal. Munchkin spent the night crying and wanting snuggles, he’s a big baby lol.

We took it really easy all day. We watched Pocahontas and I ate skittles, popcorn, and chocolate milk (a well balanced diet). Brielle had so much fun! She loved the movie and loved her treats, she has always loved chocolate milk, even from my first trimester. I played Brielle her music all afternoon and she spent the whole time dancing and having fun.

I made her fajitas with red peppers and onions for dinner. She didn’t react, so I’m not sure she was swallowing the amniotic fluid. She loves onions and red peppers, I guess she was napping. We watched a really funny movie while we waited for my parents to arrive and I ate Brielle’s halloween candy, specifically nerds and airheads. She loved those! I tried to eat a Reese’s and she did not like it, after I ate a couple bites I had to give the rest to David, she did not want that Reese’s.

When my parents arrived Brielle got real quiet and just listened. She is so shy, and there were so many new voices and so much commotion. Emmy and Rosie went crazy when they saw
my family. We all hung out in the living room for a while, snacked on popcorn, and talked about things. Brielle remained quiet the whole time. After my parents went to bed, my sister and I talked for a while. That was fun, we rarely see each other and it was great to catch up.

We then turned on Swan Princess and began singing the begining song together (This is my idea…). We played with Brielle and Tessa patted, wiggled, sang, and talked to my tummy. Towards the end of the song Brielle began to perk up. By the middle of the movie Brielle was moving around and listening. She was finally comfortable enough with Tessa and Zach. Silly girl! Towards the end she was doing a lot of big kicks and punches. I think she had fun tonight. I think she enjoyed the movie and interacting with Aunt Tessa. Mommy and Aunt Tessa sure had fun!

Tessa bought me a couple of books for Brielle for my birthday. The first one is titled “On the Day you were Born” and the other is titled “Wherever you go my Love Will Find You.” Brielle LOVED the book! She danced and kicked. David rubbed coconut oil into my belly as I read to her and she wiggled when he tickled her feet. She seemed very happy that it was just us three again. She is so shy and prefers to just be with her family. I love her so much.

The Princess and the Pea


For the past month Brielle hasn’t been super responsive. She’s still been active, but wasn’t responding like she used to. Since Sunday she’s been more like herself. She’s been craving certain foods again (like grapes, which mommy isn’t super crazy about) and responding to music and books again.

Today I felt well enough to go grocery shopping, which I haven’t been able to do in a while (I did it without pain and without swelling!). I bought Brielle a new book of fairy tales and when we got home I read her “The Princess and the Pea.” She liked that story! Silly girl did lots of wiggles when I read about the “fake” princesses, I guess she thought they were funny!


Brielle’s Utter Dislike for Dr. Seuss


Yesterday, David went out and bought Brielle a bunch of new books. I told her all about them and she did lots of happy wiggles. She especially wiggled for a Winnie the Pooh book he’d bought her. So I read that one to her. She loved it! She wiggled her little butt the whole time. Then I read her a Dr. Seuss book David had bought her. Nothing, she did not like it. No moving, no excitement. Not even happy snuggles, where she’ll curl up on one of my sides. Nothing. She really hates Dr. Seuss. Who knew a baby could hate Dr. Seuss so much? David said that this cannot be. She has to like ’80s hair bands and Dr. Seuss. I told Brielle I’d protect her from both, especially the ’80s hair bands.

It Will Be Okay


One of Brielle’s favorite books is “It Will be Okay” by Lysa TerKeurst. I bought this for Brielle not long after we were given her diagnosis. At the time I was still learning to talk to Brielle and be comfortable having conversations with my belly. It had not occurred to me yet that maybe David and I needed to prepare Brielle for what was coming. Her reaction to this book when we first read it to her was immediate. She was happy and it surprisingly brought comfort to David and I as we read it to her. At times, this was the only book she would respond to and so we would read it, over and over again.

Within a few weeks, I began telling Brielle what was going to happen when she was born and I continue to do this. I tell her how it will be scary. That it will be cold and she might be in pain. I tell her that she is very sick and that she will need to fight hard to stay with Mommy and Daddy, but that if it’s too hard that it is okay for her to go. But I always ask her to hold on just long enough to let me hold her. I want her to be with David or I as she passes. I’ll tell her about the doctors and nurses and how she may not be able to be with Mommy right away, but Daddy will be there, he will be close to her. I tell her to be brave and not to be afraid, that it will all be okay. And no matter what, Mommy and Daddy love her.

I feel like this sweet children’s book helps not only her, but also David and I. The book follows a little seed, who lives in a cozy packet in a cozy shed, and who makes a sweet friend called Little Fox. But then the Farmer (God) takes him out of his cozy packet and puts him deep in the ground. Little Fox and Little Seed are scared and afraid of what will happen. There are two parts that I always love and that even now Brielle just perked up for as I read aloud again.

“Little Fox thought hard for something to say or something to do that would help his friend not be scared. But he was afraid too. ‘It’s different and scary to be someplace new…but it will be okay, Little Seed.’ Little Seed was not so sure. And neither was Little Fox. But the Farmer was good, and the Farmer was kind, and the Farmer was always watching over them. Even when they didn’t know it.”

I often let Brielle know that I’m scared too. And that I don’t want to lose her and I’d do anything to keep her with me. I’ll hold my belly tight and tell her, “But it will be okay, you will be okay, Mommy is just going to miss you.” And I think that’s why I like the ending of this book so much. Brielle and I may be apart for a long time, but one day we’ll be back together again and we’ll have made it through the dark and scary time.

“Together they made it through the dark and scary time, and together they each learned that the Farmer was good, and the Farmer was kind, and the Farmer was always watching over them. Even in dark, messy places.”

Thank You

I have a couple of thank yous today. I received this beautiful blanket from Lois M. a few days ago. It is so soft and beautiful. I love it so much! I’m sure Brielle will love it too and she’ll look beautiful all snuggled up in it. I can’t wait to hold her in this sweet blanket! Thank you Lois!!!


I also received a book a few days ago titled “You’re Here for a Reason” by Nancy Tillman. I do not know who sent this, but whoever did, please let me know. I’d love to thank you for it! David was just saying we needed more books for Brielle and this book is perfect. Brielle loves the book “Wherever You Are, My Love Will Find You” by the same author and she loves this book as well. I like the elephant on the front, it matches her heartbeat elephant bear (pictured below).


It warms my heart to know Brielle is loved so much. Thank you for these gifts. Brielle, David, and I will treasure them.