Happy 40th Brielle!

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Wearing my Orhpans (not a typo) shirt from one of the Rifftrax we saw with Brielle.

Brielle had a great day today (Friday) and it’s the beginning of her 40th week! David took the day off and stayed with us. We woke up early this morning and had bacon (she was very excited about that!) and peanut butter pancakes. She was so happy, lots and lots of wiggles. After breakfast we went back to bed, Mommy needs a lot of sleep these days. I woke up to her acrobatics, she was just having fun, entertaining herself. I wore my “Orhpans” shirt (yes, I spelled that correctly) that David bought me for my birthday. The shirt is from the Rifftrax we saw of “Miami Connection” a few weeks ago. David wanted to be in the same nerd spirit with me, so he wore his “Big Trouble in Little China” shirt.

We decided to have lunch at Maggiano’s, Brielle had a strawberry melon soda when we were there last and she loved it. Unfortunately, that was a seasonal item and they couldn’t make it for us. But she had been wanting olive oil, so she loved her bread and olive oil and she loved the fettuccine alfredo I had too.

I am only playing her playlist of favorite songs this weekend and she has loved it. She was shaking her little booty to Frank Sinatra on the way home. I told David that at least it is a beautiful time of the year to be born. The leaves are beautiful and the weather is great. We picked up her favorite drink from Smoothie King on the way home, Strawberry Extreme. She wanted that all the time in my first and second trimesters. David brought me home one a day for a few weeks. And yes, of course she loved her Strawberry Extreme.

As I was going inside when we got home I saw this little Australian Shepherd. He was just wandering around and no one was in sight. I invited him inside and he happily came in. It was very obvious that he was recently groomed and he was very trusting of us and well mannered. He didn’t have a collar though. I told Brielle we’d have to go on an adventure to find his owners, she was excited about that! We drove around the neighborhood, but no one was looking for him. We took him to the vet and had him checked for a microchip, no chip. We brought him home and introduced him to our dog children. It took a little bit, but they’re all getting along now. Brielle kicked around and wiggled the whole time we worked to assimilate the dog into the house. Our girls (our dogs) are tolerating the other dog, which we later named Munchkin, but they are ready for him to go. And we too, are ready to find his humans, he misses his family and we’d like him to find them.

We later watched a Rifftrax of “No Retreat, No Surrender” a horribly cheesy Van Damme movie from the ’80s. I ate skittles for Brielle and David and I laughed our heads off. Brielle loved hearing us laugh and she loved her skittles. She did lots of punches and I had David put his hand on my tummy so that he could feel them. That always makes him laugh and smile.

Brielle has been so active today and so happy. I’ve done my best to stay positive for her and happy. She really hates it when I cry. Yesterday, (because I was crying) she gave me quite a few painful punches. That wasn’t a lot of fun for either of us. So today I just spent the day doing things she likes and wondering where we’ll be a year from now, or decades from now. I have no idea what to expect, but I desperately hope she’s here.

We also spent the whole day trying to get the doctor’s office to book the c-section, but no one would return our calls. We received a text late tonight from Dr. B who said he would call us Monday and book us for Tuesday or Wednesday. We asked if that would be okay for Brielle. He said her biophysical profile was good, so she should be okay for seven to ten days. Tuesday will be six days since he advised us to schedule a delivery. This whole situation makes me nervous and I’m stressed. I just want Brielle to be okay and no one knows what is going to happen. The scheduling process isn’t helping my anxiety or stress. Oh well, nothing I can do about it this weekend.

Tonight is going to be interesting. Munchkin is terrified of the dark and cries when we turn the lights off. He also stalks us into the bathroom, sneaks into our bed, and has a strange attachment to David’s pants and socks. He’s very cute, but I don’t generally let strange dogs into my bed or bathroom. David keeps saying, “I’m ready for this dog to find his home.” And, “Two dogs is plenty. Three is too much!” Which I find hilarious, because David has been asking for a third dog for a while now, and I just laugh, tell him he’s crazy and then say, “NO.”

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Our pretty fall drive.
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Brielle loves her strawberry smoothies!
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Munchkin!
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All three pups keeping an eye on each other.

 

Brielle’s Last Ultrasound

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We had our scan today and the technician was really nice. She knew this was probably our last scan and took extra time and let us watch Brielle move around. I cried my eyes out. I pretty much cried my eyes out the whole appointment. My fluid is in the mid 40’s, so it’s holding steady, which is really good. Now the bad news. Brielle isn’t growing. Since last months measurements she has not put on weight, in fact these measurements had her smaller. Dr. B said that probably wasn‘t right and she was probably around the same size as last time. Her length and bones have grown, but her weight has not. Until Dr. B saw that he was fine with us waiting another 2-3 weeks to have her, with weekly ultrasounds to make sure she was okay, of course. When he saw that her weight had not changed, he made it very clear we needed to deliver either tomorrow, Monday, or Tuesday. We’re leaning towards Monday, and I’ll call tomorrow and schedule the c-section. Then I can give everyone a time and stuff.

Another bit of good news, he is very optimistic about her brain being highly functional. She is very responsive and active still and she’s showing only good signs (weight being the only bad one). So he is optimistic. He’s doing his best to give Brielle her best chance at living and I am incredibly grateful. If her brain matter is strong enough then she has a pretty good chance. But if it’s not, the vessels in her brain may burst after birth and she may bleed out quickly or slowly, depending on the bleed.

I’m terrified and heartbroken. I do not want my sweet Brielle to leave me. But either her brain is causing a nutritional problem or my placenta isn’t giving her what she needs. I don’t want her to go and this is the moment I’ve dreaded for the past twenty weeks. I’m going to make a list of specific prayer requests that David and I have, and I’ll post that later.

David and I are going to give Brielle the best weekend we can. Right now David is making one of her favorite meals, pineapple, red pepper, chicken stir fry. She’ll be a very happy baby tonight. I’d appreciate any suggestions you may have on things we should do this weekend.

Prayers

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We have an ultrasound today and will be talking to Dr. B about delivery options. Please keep us in your prayers and please pray that we can get a good picture of her head. I need to know if Brielle’s brain is showing signs of deterioration. I’m having a very hard day, this may be the last or one of the last scans we have of Brielle.

Take it On the Run

I was playing Brielle’s playlist last night and just hanging out on the couch (I do a lot of that these days). Take It on the Run by REO Speedwagon came on and Brielle went crazy with excitement. She started dancing with her whole body! I was kicked and punched in every direction. I had a good laugh and asked her if she was excited for some REO. She’s such a sweet happy girl.

Starting Somewhere: Fetal Procedures for Anencephaly

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If you work at a hospital or are a medical professional, please read this post.

Since Brielle’s diagnosis I’ve been working on how to care for anencephalic infants. From the recommendation of a neuroscientist friend, I bought “Fundamental Neuroscience” and “Atlas of Neuroscience.” I’ve spent weeks reading publications on PubMed, studying the brain, amniotic fluid, head trauma, anencephaly, how anencephaly occurs, etc. I find this all very fascinating and incredibly surprising how little is known about anencephaly. Quite frankly, nothing is known.

If you’ve been following my posts, you know that a few weeks ago a baby was given horrific care by a hospital in Tennessee. Why? Pure ignorance on how to care for an anencephalic neonate. So number one on my list was to establish a basic set of protocols for hospitals and practices to follow in regards to basic maternal and fetal/neonatal care. Number two, determine a way to to treat anencephalic infants with strong vital signs. Number three, find a way to treat anencephalic babies in utero and save their lives. Did I do this for Brielle’s sake? Absolutely, but I also did it for every other family in this situation.

Anencephaly is the most common neural tube defect, but 95% of the cases are aborted. That leaves only around 50-60 babies born a year in the United States. Very few physicians will see no more than a handful of cases in their career go to term. I think a big part of why there are so many abortions, is because parents are told their baby has no brain and is “incompatible with life,” they are presented with a situation that has no hope. This is something that needs to change, because these babies do have brains, and some of them do survive. For instance, the seventeen year old girl currently living with anencephaly. There is always hope.

I’m not sure if this is the right course of action. And this is definitely a more difficult plan, but we need to start somewhere. I propose we start here:

Fetal Procedures:
– MRI before 34 weeks for clear picture of brain matter before Tissue Factor is introduced in Amniotic Fluid at 34 weeks. (TGF is a suspected component of amniotic fluid that deteriorates brain matter after 34 weeks. By having MRI’s we can begin to see how fluid affects anencephalic brains and potentially when to deliver the baby for best possible outcomes.)
– MRI after 34 weeks to check on brain.
– Check for extracerebral hemorrhages and intracerebral hemorrhages via ultrasound or MRI. (This will better prepare the medical team at the time of delivery.)
– Colour doppler imaging to be done to monitor for AVM (arteriovenous malformation).
– Check for AVM, look to vein of Galen and frontal region of brain for AVM occurrence. This will be difficult in an anencephalic brain since their brains are organized differently.
– Continuous assessment of cardiac failure or hydrocephalus is required to monitor for AVM.
– Fetal behavior documented by mother. This needs to be known to better detect brain bleeds at time of birth.

Neonate Procedures:
– Vaginal birth increases risk of head trauma. Induction increases risk of head trauma.
– Delay cord clamping to reduce risk of brain bleeds. Specifically Intraventricular hemorrhage (most probable cause of death).
– Use of artificial dura and sterile gauze to cover brain. Dressing must be kept wet and baby must be kept warm.
– Monitor for signs of brain bleeds (could be six to eight hours before first signs present themselves):

– Fixed and dilated pupil. Eye will be positioned down and out on side of injury.
– Weakness of the extremities. Will be on the opposite side of the lesion.
– Loss of visual field. Will be on the opposite side of the lesion.
– Irregular respiration (apnea)
– Vomiting
– Confusion/lowered level of consciousness
– Seizures (especially if not seen in utero)
– Neck stiffness
– ECG/EKG (if showing other signs): Hypertension, Bradycardia, Cardiac arrhythmias, Cardiac arrest, Other changes
– Decreased muscle tone
– Lethargy
– Weak suck
– Excessive sleep
– Decreased reflexes
– Oxygen levels should be monitored
– BP should be monitored
– MRI to check for brain bleeds
– Regular state and federal required testing (this is important because this is currently not done for anencephalic infants)
Be aware that use of ECMO can cause intra axial brain bleed.

Maternal Procedures:
– Monitor for polyhydramnios during pregnancy.
– Monitor for amniotic fluid embolism during and after delivery. As well as during pregnancy.
– Increased risk for AF embolism with an anencephalic baby and polyhydramnios. This is due to neural debris in amniotic fluid.
– If the mother had polyhydramnios, monitor for postpartum hemorrhage.