We had our scan today and the technician was really nice. She knew this was probably our last scan and took extra time and let us watch Brielle move around. I cried my eyes out. I pretty much cried my eyes out the whole appointment. My fluid is in the mid 40’s, so it’s holding steady, which is really good. Now the bad news. Brielle isn’t growing. Since last months measurements she has not put on weight, in fact these measurements had her smaller. Dr. B said that probably wasn‘t right and she was probably around the same size as last time. Her length and bones have grown, but her weight has not. Until Dr. B saw that he was fine with us waiting another 2-3 weeks to have her, with weekly ultrasounds to make sure she was okay, of course. When he saw that her weight had not changed, he made it very clear we needed to deliver either tomorrow, Monday, or Tuesday. We’re leaning towards Monday, and I’ll call tomorrow and schedule the c-section. Then I can give everyone a time and stuff.
Another bit of good news, he is very optimistic about her brain being highly functional. She is very responsive and active still and she’s showing only good signs (weight being the only bad one). So he is optimistic. He’s doing his best to give Brielle her best chance at living and I am incredibly grateful. If her brain matter is strong enough then she has a pretty good chance. But if it’s not, the vessels in her brain may burst after birth and she may bleed out quickly or slowly, depending on the bleed.
I’m terrified and heartbroken. I do not want my sweet Brielle to leave me. But either her brain is causing a nutritional problem or my placenta isn’t giving her what she needs. I don’t want her to go and this is the moment I’ve dreaded for the past twenty weeks. I’m going to make a list of specific prayer requests that David and I have, and I’ll post that later.
David and I are going to give Brielle the best weekend we can. Right now David is making one of her favorite meals, pineapple, red pepper, chicken stir fry. She’ll be a very happy baby tonight. I’d appreciate any suggestions you may have on things we should do this weekend.
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