Brielle is 28 weeks today! We took a tour of the women’s center today. We met with Jamie today, who is wonderful and scheduled us a private tour when she heard Brielle has anencephaly. The staff there is all being told about our situation and they are all going to do everything they can to support us. I cannot begin to explain how much we appreciate this.
The building is very nice. The first floor has nice waiting rooms, a very nice bistro, restrooms, and a piano (added bonus). The second, third, and fourth floors are LDR and mother and baby rooms. David and I were very impressed with the facility and how kind and friendly everyone was.
Today was a very hard day for us. We, essentially, toured the place our daughter will die. And we had conversations about end of life care, treatment care, and harsh realities that David and I would rather ignore. Of course, we can’t ignore any of it and this is happening. I’m having tremendous anxiety. Each new week brings another helping of panic. I don’t want her to leave us and if I could have my way I’d prefer to stay pregnant forever.
I told David I don’t have a hole in my heart, a whole chunk, the whole heart is breaking off. He agreed and said that this is like watching her die in slow motion. If we could, we’d give her our heads. But that’s not how this works.
She’s not even gone yet, and this pain is more than our bodies can hold let alone comprehend.